This moment is like no other I have ever lived.
This feeling is like no other I have ever felt. Just a few moments ago I received the phone call none of us want to receive. It was my sister telling me that our Mom had passed away. "She's Gone!" She said with a trembling voice. "she's gone." We have been a Blessed family. (On my Mom's side) There have been no deaths. Only one, the husband of a cousin, in over 30 years Mama's the first one of us to Meet Jesus. The first one to walk those Streets of Gold. I'm so glad I called her today. We talked. We laughed. We told each other I Love You. It just hit me. (I am writing as tears fill my eyes) What a Blessing. The last thing my Mama said to me was "I Love You" and the last thing I said to her was "I Love You".
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It's great to sit back and watch as God works His Miracles BUT how Awesome it is to be right there in the middle of the action!!!! To be used by God to bring Miracles to the lives of those in need through His Glory.
For every problem, For every nightmare, For EVERYTHING that has brought worry into our lives over the last two and a half months since my last post, (and believe me there have been MANY!!!) God Has Worked MIRACLES to Heal, Repair, Replace and Bring JOY for each and every one of them. Just as He has carried us through these 5 years of nightmares He continues to carry us through each every day AND NIGHT. He continues not only to care for us but He allows us to care for and Help others. No matter what the devil throws at us The Lord always takes it and hits a HOME RUN! WHAT AN AWESOME GOD WE SERVE!!!!!!! I can't wait to see what Our Lord Jesus Christ has in store for us next!!! Don't you just Love to watch God Show Off!!! Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Psalms 51:1
Please Pray for my family and me. Our bank account in ALL messed up. (Not by my doing) The money is there (as in, it's there at the bank) but for some reason it is not showing up in our account. The balance shows ( --$157.00 ). UNNECESSARY STRESS!!! I had to take David and myself to the doctor this morning and could not even pay the $123.00 I needed to pay as we left. I told them that I would do everything I could to pay it by the end of the day. Thank The Lord they waived the $15.00 FEE they add to the charges for not being able to pay. Not only that I could not even have the blood test I needed on my thyroids because that would add another $100.00 to the bill! AND to top it off the Dr. found a lump on my thyroid SO Now I need an ultrasound! DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. I'm Praying that the Good Hearted people at St. Francis Hospital will allow me to have it done there without paying anything up front. David has MediCARE and Trammell has MediCAID BUT I have mediNOTHING! PLEASE PRAY that this lump is nothing. Please Pray that God will make a way for me to get the testing I need to find out about it. The past two weeks have been so hard. So many things going wrong. So many things going on to just knock me down. I know it's just the devil playing games but what the devil don't know is he's NOT GOING TO WIN! Let me rephrase that - he's NEVER GOING TO WIN!!!!! But Now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1 He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds. Psalms 147:3 I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts. Isaiah 57:15 Thank You Lord. AMEN!! It's 3:35am on Tuesday morning. I just checked David for the third time tonight. Unlike the last two times, his diaper was dry this time.
I love that feeling when I grab the little flashlight I keep beside his bed with the 3 diapers I lay out for the night, raise the covers ever so slightly as to not awaken him and see that the lines on his diaper have not turned blue!! He's dry!! This means I can go back to my room and slip back under my warm covers. GOING BACK TO SLEEP, well, that's another story. David has another bed-sore. Only the 2nd in 5 years. That's good, so I'm told, but NONE would be better. I have to change the bandage each time I change his diaper because I don't have the water proof bandages. I called the doctor's office yesterday to try and get the wound care nurse out here so she can bring more of those awesome bandages they have. That's one of the few things Humana pays in full. (In-home wound care) Back in my nice warm bed - wide wake - I lay here, my mind racing, as it always seems to do at night, when I'm trying to fall back to sleep, I think about my poor boys. David and the mass of brain damage he has suffered. What goes on in his mind? Is he afraid. He confused - all the time. AND Trammell - What he has gone through becoming paralyzed at age 14. My Poor Boys! My Poor, Poor Boys! Oh how I Pray that they feel safe and Loved. Oh how I Pray that I can care for them and give them the best live they can have. Oh how I Pray that I can give them something to look forward to each day. (Although David can't re I will say goodnight and close for now - I see on the monitor David is awake and moving around which usually is a sign that his diaper is wet. WISH ME LUCK! Please let his diaper be DRY! For as long as I can remember my greatest joy has come from giving to others.
Serving GOD and Helping Others are why, I feel, we are all on this earth. I Pray that more and more people begin to understand that's why they are here. I can't imagine a life without Our Lord Jesus Christ. I can't imagine going through all we have gone through during the past 5 years without Handing It All Over To GOD. I Pray Daily For Our Lord To Cradle Us In His Loving Arms And Carry Us Through Each And Every Day. May HE Do The Same For You And Your Family. How I wish I could spend more TIME - "Sharing" with David and Trammell instead of "Caring" for them.
I feel the same as any other good Mom. I want to find a way to have more "Quality Time" with my boys. Instead of having to use all those Precious Moments doing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, making beds, changing sheet, preparing meals, shopping for groceries, picking -up, putting-up, and doing the MOUNTAINS of Paperwork it takes to try and get help for our family (for David) (nursing care, diapers, gloves, anything from our government) with no luck. Not to mention ALL THE DIAPERS I change day and night. IF only I could spend that time hanging out with Trammell (He and I only have THREE HOURS A WEEK we can leave the house together. Right now we have a voucher from an organization called Senior Solutions here in Anderson who is paying 11.00 of the 16.50 per hour it cost to have a nurse come in to care for David. They allow us 3 hours per week. We can then leave the condo for doctor's appt. or to find something VERY Inexpensive to do. (We have discovered recently how much we enjoy playing pool in the Billiard Room at the club house here at Overlook Condos. The clubhouse is really nice, quiet and it's FREE!!!) I wish I could spend more time with David. Reading to him, drawing and coloring with him, helping him put puzzles together (He needs help even putting together preschool puzzles), taking him outside for walks or just watching one of his cartoon movies with him. ALL day and All night I RUN. My days are a blur and my nights seem endless. I dream of nights that I can lay my head down and know I can sleep ALL NIGHT without having to jump up every 2 to 3 hours to check on David, change his diaper or worse. I PLACE IT ALL IN THE HANDS OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. HE KNOWS OUR HEARTS AND HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR US. ABOVE ALL - I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT - GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF THIS. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Always be joyful. Never stop Praying. Be Thankful in ALL circumstances, for this is GOD'S will for you who belong to Christ Jesus I ask myself, here on my 53rd birthday, what do I want to look forward to?
Where do I want to see my family and myself in a year? Do we want to continue the nightmarish life we have been living for the last 5 years? How can I make life better for David and Trammell? Should we stand up and say THIS IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE! WE ARE GOING TO START LIVING OUR BUCKET LIST! With God In Control We Can Do It! I want to spend a year on South Padre Island. Maybe two years. I used to live there in the 80's. It's the BEST PLACE I have ever lived. I miss it so. Trammell has heard me talk about THE ISLAND his entire life. He agrees that we should stop talking and wishing and start doing. In return - Trammell wants to live in a cold for a year or two. Since we can live anywhere we like on basically the same budget as we do right here WHY NOT enjoy life as best we can and live where we want. Here's To Living Our Best Year Ever!!! My days are a BLUR and my nights are endless ButThis week has Really been busy! Four Doctors' office visits. Two for Trammell and two for David. We had to pull out the old wheel chair this week. Boy do we NOT MISS using those. David had to have the toenail on his big left toe removed. It took five shots to get it numb. Plus the nurse and me holding his leg. He kept kicking. (Remember this is a 54 year old 2 year old). The good thing was by the time we got home he had no memory of it. I guess there IS a good side to having no short term memory. Well - Tomorrow is my 53rd birthday. Our nightmare began when I was 48. We have come a long way and have seen so many Miracles. I still believe that God Has A Plan In All This. My brother-in-law told me, a few weeks ago, about a friend he has with a daughter who has cancer. She is only in her 20's and has been fighting cancer for ten years. The Doctors in Texas at the cancer center they have been going to have now told them there is nothing more they can do. She has decided to live her last year doing her Bucket List. She and her two young children are traveling to all the places in the world she's always dreamed of going. When I think about this I ask myself WHY do we have to wait until we get a Death Sentence before we start Living? Why do we put off our dreams until it's too late? "One Of These Days I'm Going To......" Why are we humans like that? Dear brothers and sisters, I urge you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to join in my struggle by praying to God for me. Do this because of your love for me, given to you by the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:30 This is such a wonderful verse. There are so many families out there who need our Prayers. They also need our help. When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13 There are 3 families that we help each month. I wish we could do more for each of them. With this in mind, if there is anyone, any group or any Sunday School Class who would like to take over helping one of these families please let me know. You can see two of the families on this web page by clicking on "Other Families We Are Helping". If you need ideas on what to do to help - We do things like buying food from Sams. Paying part of their power bill (You can do this by calling Duke Energy. You just need their account #). Buying clothes for the kids (Goodwill is where I go) Remember Christmas is coming and these families will need help with food and gifts for their kids. There are soooooo many families who need help. Please, if you know a family in need don't think that "someone else will help" and please don't assume they are getting help from our government. We know first hand about that. Do what God put you here to do. Serve Him and Help Others. Well - This evening it was time to give David his haircut, shave, eyebrow trim and a shower. Let's see, how can I describe this ordeal to you and have you fully grasp the situation.(Remember he is 54 but has the mind of a one to two year old.)
Imagine, if you will, a two year old with a beard. Oh yeah, it's that bad. And no, he will not even hold still. BUT he's so cute! I have a huge pad around his neck, another one on his lap and still another one on the floor. But by the time I am finished we both have hair and whiskers all over us. THEN he does not EVEN want to get into the shower. I finally persuade him by making him understand that he will be itchy - itchy - itchy if he does not get in the shower and rinse off all that hair. After potty time and the brushing of the teeth he is FINALLY ready to diaper, dress and put to bed. It usually takes 2&1/2 to 3 hours for the whole ordeal. And guess what, I get to do it again in a few days. Well, the hair cut and shave and eyebrow trim in about two to three weeks. The rest is every day. Tomorrow my sister, Glenda will be bringing Trammell and me a set of twin BEDS!!!! Her father-in-law, Herb Ballentine, is giving us the beds with everything that goes with them. See, I had to sell my DREAM bedroom suit a couple of months ago. I had a tooth that kept getting infected and then the infection got into my bloodstream. I was sooooo SICK! ( But as you Moms know, we get NO SICK DAYS) The cheapest place I could find to help me was Piedmont Dental - Affordable Dentures. They pulled the tooth and made a partial for $500.00. It would have cost between 1500.00 and 2100.00 at all of the dentist offices I called, just to save the tooth. ONE SMALL "FRONT" TOOTH!!!! HOW do dentist SLEEP AT NIGHT. (IN VERY EXPENSIVE BEDS) LOL. Anyway - the partial will have to do until 2014 when the girl who bought our house will pay us the balance. We will then be able to buy a home, pay off some doctor bills and I'll be able get GET A TOOTH! YEAH! LOL ANYWAY - Herb is sending use two twin beds. Trammell, who has been sleeping on a cot for the past 8 months will have one for his room and I will no longer have to sleep on the sofa, which is really not that bad. The other one goes in my room. David, of course, who is bed ridden, sleeps in a hospital bed. Glenda is also going to let us use one of her older TVs so I will have a TV in my room for the Baby Monitor I have for David. That's how I keep an eye on him at night. I get up every 3 hours to check his diaper but other times I just open my eyes to check the monitor and make sure he is OK. If his eyes are open I go in to make sure he's not afraid or to turn his cartoons on until he falls back to sleep. Very now and then he goes psychotic at night. I have to keep an eye on him all night then. Speaking of sleep - I'd better try and get some - it's 10:15pm. I'm going to check a diaper and hit the SOFA (for the last night!!!) GOODNIGHT ALL! |
This picture was taken of me BEFORE our world was turned upside down. Believe me, I look a lot more RESTED here than I do now. LOL
Linda ByceI believe we are on this earth for two reasons. To SERVE GOD and to HELP OTHERS. |